This page is purely and simply

‘JUST FOR DOGS’ (and bitches too).

So if you are human and reading it – GO AWAY NOW!

We dogs need our own:

·        Web space

·        Chat lines

·        Agony columns

·        News & reviews

It is here and now – 2007 is our year!

LADY MUCK'S PAGE

ISSUE: 2

1. Jacob
2. Food review
3. Old Poodle
4. Doggy facts
5. Write in
6. About me

& see

Dog Blog Issues 1 2 3

Jacob

Jacob arrived – unannounced from nowhere!

That is he on the left (I’m on the right).

His Humans can’t use a computer so they won’t see him on my web-blog, but we will tell them.

One morning the Humans awoke, and sitting on the front garden was Jacob.  They took him in, and then tried to find his owner.

They tried the local vet, the local dog-rescue homes and advertising, but nobody claimed Jacob.

They didn’t know his name, so they said all different names until he seemed to respond to Jacob – so Jacob it was.

Jacob is a real man, a TOP DOG proper, and all the ladies love him.

Jacob is not keen on young males though, and

Woe betides any that challenge him.

His humans really love him but he does exasperate them sometimes.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I did think about sharing my food, I thought

NO, NO, NO!

Then on second thoughts, I thought

Yes Yes, Yes!

Chief taster is my duty.

I mean what if (God forbid) their platter was poisoned?

So as any good and dutiful Mutt would do, I sit there eagerly awaiting the first taste.

This has nothing to do with greed. 

It is simply that I don’t want them to die.

Self-preservation is the key; I mean what would happen to me if they dropped down dead?

That got me thinking…

What if they felt the same way and wanted to taste my food first in case it was poisoned – I really wish they would then I am sure they wouldn’t dish it up to me again.

Join my campaign for better doggie dinners!

You ask – O’wise one answers

The Old Poodle

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard!

I wonder if there are any more around here?"'
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, thinks he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard.

So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says:  "Where's that damn monkey?  I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"  

Moral of this story...

You ask – O’wise one answers

Q – from Bunter (British Bulldog) –

I heard my Mum saying I was having my nads-nipped next week, will this cause me any short or long term effects?

A- from O’wise one – Yes I am afraid it will.  You will be in agony for a while after. The nipping of the nads is not nice at all.  I was born without any so I am very lucky there. 

I believe it will ruin your love life too!  I mean to say, what upstanding bitch of society would want to walk out with a dog on her paw that had no nads.  Everybody would be talking.  I think you can get some doggie pants that could possibly hide / disguise the missing nads.  Some dogs can have silicone implants so the bitches’ wont notice – so they say, but it is a waste of money because we can smell the difference.  Best thing is put up a fight – protest strongly – don’t be such a wimp!

Some dogs need it done because they are persistent rapists and if you are one of those dogs then the sooner they are removed the better.

ABOUT ME:

I have had the need to complain to that Google-eye website where I bought my red specs from.  They broke in under a week.  They had no more the same so I have accepted this new pair (see picture at top).

I will be happy to know if you think these ones suit me better or not?  I don’t want to make a spectacle of myself now do I!

My fan club is free to join so don’t hold back.